birthday

Dax came on the 29th of September. Stephana went into labor at 2:00 pm and her husband called us at 2:30. Andrea got there at 3:30 and I got there 15 minutes later with a knot in my stomach anticipating intense birthing. As I walked in I saw Andrea and Kelly speaking in hushed tones. Andrea said, she just had the baby. WHAT? WTF? She had the baby at 3:20 so even Andrea missed it! Can you believe that? There were two video cameras in the house, plus mine on the way, tripods, tapes , DSLRs, the works and not even one was turned on for the actual birth...Dax maxed all expectations..out in an hour! Wow.

I did shoot a little of the 'after' stuff. Stephana was laying there like a Goddess with the baby on her breast. She looked so beautiful and natural. I was quite literally in awe of her power and beauty. What struck me was her absolute attention on her new born with no regard to her own condition. Its amazing how every child gives birth to a mother.


I don't think I have the strength of spirit or body confidence it takes to have a child at home...I need the backup of a hospital and pain medication just incase. Having said that, midwives are very well equipped to handle birth emergencies and always know when to take a mother to a hospital if complications that require intervention arise...yet to me it is a leap of faith in SELF. Could I do it without flipping out? There was a point in Anika's birth where I definitely felt I couldn't do it any more, I wanted deliverance from 'suffering' so to speak. I guess its like everything I do, I need a back door to escape..it takes a different sort of strength to say, I will do this no matter what.

Being there made me think back to my birth experience. All I remember of it is love and support. I felt like a queen who was carried on love..sounds melodramatic...but when you're in the throes of labor pains, love is like water to a dying person's lips..it is such a powerful experience only dramatic analogies like that begin to come close to describing the experience. Dh was just incredibly loving and supportive, I couldn't have gotten as far as I did without him and my doula. My doula Giselle Whitwell was amazing, she was like a mother, so compassionate. They were both with me every step of the way, through the 21 hours it took! Thank you both for giving me the best birth experience I could have wanted.



This morning when mama wished me a happy birth day I wished HER a happy birthday for pushing me out. To all mothers who make, carry and birth love.