Thursday, June 18, 2009

perks of pregnancy

I went to the mall today to pick out maternity jeans. After shopping I devoured a very healthy chick-fil-a burger with fries. I did skip the soda and drink a bottle of water instead. I was sitting there and people watching, my favorite pass time. Across from me was a mom and her 8 year son, I watched her as she absently stroked his hair while he ate his pizza and said, "I missed you so much baby." He continued eating unaffected, secure in his mother's love. I had tears in my eyes. Then there was a mother with four daughters one of the older ones was carrying the youngest one on her hip, tears again.

It amazes me that I could just sit there and eat my burger with tears in my eyes and not feel at all weird about it, I relish the heightened emotions. While my out of control emotions can swing easily towards moodiness and melancholy, the other side of that pendulum is pure love. Its true what Anika's 'Baby on the Way' book says, "When your mama is pregnant love is growing inside her belly.."

Monday, June 15, 2009

time marches on

I'm getting big and tired in this heat. I try to remind myself I will not look like a blimp forever but I hate looking in the mirror. I ate too many beans today, I will not elaborate the consequence of that. Compared with the amount of obsessing a first pregnancy gets the second one goes on pretty much unnoticed in the background of life. I haven't bought a single thing for the baby, sleeping arrangements are still in flux. Some progress has been made on closets etc, but not enough real work as been done and I'm not worried either. We were so busy before Anika, I can't imagine what the hell we were doing?

We've been thinking of names, lists are made and revised. perfect names on one day quickly fade into oblivion the next. We asked Anika what she wanted to call her baby brother, she said without hesitation,"Darling baby".

On the weekend Dh was reading Anika a new book we got her called, 'Baby whales drink milk', she listened attentively and then thought a while before she said," Papa, mama is my first love." Sigh sigh sigh.