I've been really irritated because Anika refuses to drink milk anymore. After a lot of patience I finally had her at a point where she was drinking almost 10 oz a day and suddenly nada, not one sip. It's driving me up the wall. I think she needs the nutrition and I am ready to wean her. Slowly does it, I know. Whenever I try to force anything she resists, just like her father, if it seems like its her decision, milk is casually around when she is hungry , she asks for it herself. Its taking a lot of willpower to 'not insist'. I think its the talk of not mama milk only cow's milk that is making her feel like I don't love her anymore or something. I don't know how to do this humanely, I want our Bf relationship to end positively. My threats yesterday of drink this milk or else no park are definitely not the way to go..According to Dr. Sears and gang she should self wean, but that could be anywhere between 2 to 4. I DO NOT want to go there. I was planning up to 2 and she will be two in a month and a half. Any mamas have any ideas? I cannot be mean and say NO MORE...any other gentle suggestions? Or am I being silly? Is it like quitting an addiction, cold turkey..or can it be gradual? She was taking milk from the bottle in the day except when she was going down for her nap or night sleep, I thought that could be the last one to stop..but now we're all out of control again..Its like Pri says, I have to be consistent and firm..but she's just a baby and she really loves it so much, she is showing no signs of being disinterested..
9 comments:
Anja - I don't have great advice, but I think when she asks for mama's milk (during the day) it is helpful to try to distract her with something totally different. Like, "Let's blow some bubbles!" or "I want to go run outside - will you run with me?" or something else she really likes. Then offer the cow's milk later on after she has forgotten so it doesn't seem so much like you are replacing your milk with it and more like it's just a new thing. As an aside, G drinks almost no milk and I don't really like to offer it too much as he gets phlegmy. His doc said that as long as he is eating cheese and yogurt and I am cooking with milk he should be getting plenty of calcium and doesn't actually need to drink milk at all. If you are worried, you can give a calcium supplement, too...
thanks Mel that's good advice...distraction is a very effective tool in most situations..I should try it in this situation. Anika loves cheese, yoghurt and ice cream. Maybe I don't need to obsess so much..
I totally agree with Mel! C-man used to drink alot of milk but with the current heat he went from a ton to pretty much none! They are smart and will sense your stress so try to relax. :)Distraction during the day is key and daddy duty when possible during the other times. We gradually dropped our sessions and once we were down to that last session I spent a few weeks telling him how big he has gotten and how he wouldnt need his "sneaky snacks" anymore. About a month after his 2nd b-day I just woke up and told him the milk was gone and he accepted that. It has been 2M and he has only asked once to nurse when sick.
Thanks for the great advice Andrea, its true she can totally sense my stress. I have to calm down. I like the gradual method too..consistency and distraction.
Dear Anja,
Amie "weaned herself", and very fast (in the span of a week she was down from 2 nursings a day and one at night to nothing).
So *I* was the one asking! Not just because of the engorgement (which didn't bother me much), but because I missed it emotionally. I found myself trying to remember the last time, but it had happened so fast, and I had thought she was just "eating less this week" , so I never took special note of it. I felt like we had lost something, a closeness only moms and their children have.
I can well imagine that a child feels something similar when it's the mom initiating the weaning. She won't have an adult's methods of grieving, but in her own way she too come to understand that it's not the end of her relationship with you, but the beginning of something new, and "bigger" - as in "I'm a *big* kid now!"
Don't worry about the intake of cow's milk. Like Mel said, there's lot of calcium to be got elsewhere. Ice cream!
You've nursed till she's almost two, that is impressive in itself! She'll always remember that, if not in her conscious mind, then surely in her body.
you have got perfect advice out here. i also weaned her gradually, finally it was the 'waking up at night for a feed' that was turning out to be the only difficult one. that was the final test on both sides. i slept in another room and she with george for a few nights, hoping that she would learn to sleep through the night.
she would scurry in the dark and find me! and i could not bear the thought of making her cry.
but the final weaning was eventually traumatic - she wept for almost half an hour or more, i refused to materialise- and then she fell asleep. and that was that.
dont worry about the calcium intake at all.focus on being calm, and letting the father distract.
Mia didn't nurse for very long. But now, she isn't drinking milk pretty much at all. Like said above, she consumes other dairy products and has always eaten a very varied diet. I feel like she's pretty much getting everything she needs.
I like Mel's idea of redirection. I get the feeling from you and a lot of moms, that many children still nurse to be close to their mamas. So maybe finding other ways to be close...snuggling, reading a book, Mia loves for me to hold her and rub or gently scratch her back. Closeness and re-centering may be what she's needing :)
All you ladies really make me smile. I have a whole village out here on the internet to help raise my child. Thank you all for the great advice and the support.
Hi Anjalika -- I weaned Laura at 2 years old, but by that time, she was only nursing at night. Maybe you could begin by setting a special time each day for nursing, then you could say, "That's for nap time, now." Then, as Mel says, distract her with something else. Eventually, she won't miss it anymore(which is also bittersweet).
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