Hindi and Bindi

Adorable picture of Anika courtesy Melissa

I finally had a play date at home. My friends Tanya and Andrea from my fabulous Mother's group suggested I host a play date with an Indian theme. So I gave it a tentative shot, I didn't think I had the initiative to get off my lazy ass and put something non-lame together. These mamas have set the bar very high.

Tanya and Andrea came a little earlier than everyone else, THANK GOD because I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Tanya and Mia came first. I got a warm warm Tanya hug that made me very happy. The sight of Andrea looking calm and beautiful in her purple and gold salwaar kameez put me right at ease. They were like, 'how can we help?' They got right to it. Andrea helped finish some of the craft prep while Tanya helped make everyone feel right at home as they came in. It felt like Mala and Priya(my older sisters) were around, they always had me covered. Tanya is like Priya, gregarious and loving. Andrea is like Mala, calming and dependable. I had my Hermanas by my side and life was good.

I had a few Indian books and toys on display, organized a craft activity and had some snacks available. Lora, the amazing made SAMOSAS!!!! I was floored, they were so tasty, I couldn't believe all the trouble she took. For the craft, I made stencils of each child's name out of foam and attached them to card stock with velcro. I wanted each child to go home with their names painted in Hindi. The foam was not rigid enough to hold up to jabs from toddlers' brushes. I suspect despite my best intentions all the kids' names have extra lumps on them. Next time I will try to use a more rigid material. However, I think the kids had fun and that is the REAL purpose right?

There were balls, dolls, cars, books, goldfish, raisins, hands, legs and little feet everywhere! I kept smiling from ear to ear the entire time, I was so thrilled to be surrounded by all this energy.



The most gratifying and loving part of the day was the warmth and openness of all the mamas. There were four American women dressed in Indian clothes. Melissa looked beautiful in a gorgeous sari, which she carried off better than me. Ever since I've had a toddler, I avoid wearing a sari like the plague because I'm certain I'll have it around my ankles in no time after one tug from Anika. Andrea looked gorgeous in her silk salwaar kameez. Tanya and Lora looked beautiful in vibrant churidaar kurtas. Everyone sported a bindi and looked so cute...

When they all left, I put Anika to bed and came downstairs to pick up. I realized there was nothing left to do, it was all done. I got kind of emotional when I went to the sink and noticed that some kind woman had even washed some of the dishes that I hadn't yet gotten to. Anika's bottles were washed and the sponges were neatly put away.

There will be many more play dates at this casa.

The pics are from Andrea, Tanya has great pics too on her blog.

Getting back on the web wagon

'Mama dove Aata', that's what Anika just said to me, it means Anika loves Mama. She also hugs Palu (the cat) and says Aata dove Palu, he is usually pretty tolerant, but the other day he bit her. Of course I chased Palu out like a mama tiger, but it's she who needs to learn to control her rough love=)

We have finally gotten used to being home after a lovely vacation in India. I feel rejuvinated and clear headed. I didn't know what I wanted from my trip back home but I got everything I needed and some. I spent a lot of time with family, Anika got tons of love, attention and stimulation. When we left she was pre-verbal, she had about 40 words she used to communicate. Within a month of being in India she had a vocabulary of over a 100 words and soon she was stringing them together to make two-three word sentences. It was like a cascade of development. Everything came together at once. She was having fun and getting such a kick out of being understood. She picked up many Hindi words too, she says words from both languages together to make certain we get it.

She has also developed a great emotional intelligence. If mama gets a 'hupee' or 'hurt, she comes over and kisses it. When we returned from a weekend away she wanted to feed her favorite toy, a stuffed cat. Today she was taking a bath and said.'Aata miss papa'. Out of the blue she says, "aata go bhaiya, park' Bhaiya is her cousin brother in Bombay, who she was crazy about. I can't believe her memory! Last week, we went to the Children's Museum and stayed for a couple hours, we left 5 minutes before closing time. When I got to the parking lot I started digging around for my key, it was no where to be found, I emptied my entire bag in the street in a panic. I ran back to the museum and got in right before they closed, with no idea where to start looking. I asked Anika, 'Beta, mama lost the car keys, do you know where they are?' She said immediately, 'Ya'. I asked her disbelievingly, 'Where are they?' She said, 'Shop', i was surprised she knew that word to begin with, but I listened to her. We went in the shop ad then I put her down and said, 'Can you show mama where they are?" She walked right to the back of the store and picked them up from the ground and handed them to me! I was shocked! Truly. I kissed her profusely and left the museum with a skip and sky high goose bumps.

Its so ironic that just when she is so much fun to play with I am thinking of going back to work. I really need the mental stimulation and the money, but I can't imagine being without her. I think part time is the best idea for now, for both of us. She will really benefit from learning new things and interacting with other children now.

I have no energy

this no blogging for so long is making me guilty. I have so much to write about, but I'm so far behind..and ALLLLL those pics to upload..I've become so lazy. I come to the computer with great enthusiasm, read my faves and run down for tea. Soon soon, I promise..

Sur full circle

This week I crossed over the cyber-real world line for the first time. I met one of my favorite bloggers, Surabhi and her adorable Sanah..I first read her blog two years ago, when Sanah was 6 months old and Anika was still within.

As we came in from the heat and dust of a gruelling rickshaw ride, Sur had cold nimbu pani ready, my favorite. She and Sanah seemed so familiar even though it was the first time we had laid eyes on each other. So bizarre and so cool. I don't even know what we talked about, it was like meeting a family member, just gup-shup, khana. I wanted to talk about our things in common, but we didn't even go there. It took George to ask me what films I've made before that obvious commonality even surfaced. We were like, oh ya..our films. We started talking about work a little but like mother's usually are, we were interupted by our toddlers in turn and it was cool, half finished conversations were the norm.




Then I was fed a delicious meal of bhindi, tendli, MA ki Dal amd rotis yum. I was very pleased. The kids were being entertained by Tai while we chatted about film and drinking stories! It was incredibly adult and fun. I think I laughed too much, maybe I seemed over eager? I didn't mean to be, I was just so overjoyed at having an adult conversation I couldn't help myself. I was thrilled at the situation. Here I was in a filmmaker/writer's house that I happened to chance upon in my desperate searches for community when I was pregnant in a new city. I devoured Sur's words about motherhood, moodiness, film, friends everything. She was all my own, something I did for myself in snatches of free time from routine. And here I was having lunch with her in Bombay.



Surabhi was warm , funny and interesting like her writing. I really enjoyed meeting her. Thanks Surabhi for opening up your home to us.

Anika had a blast shouting, 'Ko come' in the balcony with Sanah, that's crow come.



Here is my tag completed, finally

A -Available?
what?

B-Best friend:
dh and my sisters

C-Cake or Pie?
moist, dark, chocolate cake

D-Drink of choice:
adrak chai, red wine, good chillllled beer, nimbu pani, cold water.

E-Essential thing used everyday:
chaddis

F-Favourite colour:
varies

G-Gummi bears or worms:
bears, like to bite their heads off

H-Hometown:
mumbai meri jaan

I-Indulgence:
anything sweet

J-January or February:
January

K-Kids and names:
one Anika

L-Life:
is good, complex and always changing.

M-Marriage date:
August 11th, chosen because it represented two people standing next to each other in equality, the 11 part August was circumstantial.

N-Number of siblings:
two

O-Oranges or apples:
Oranges.

P-Phobias:
that i will stop dreaming. that the spark will die/fizzle

Q-Quote:
Goethe's quote, 'Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.' Also as a companion quote is, 'i am your idea, use me or lose me.' a taunt I saw in an ad somewhere.

R-Reason to smile:
my baccha

S-Season:
cool, cloudy, green

T-Tag three people:
sunshine, kaat, bonnie

U-Unknown fact about me:
can't think of anything witty to say

V-Vegetable you do not like:
slimy bhindi

W-Worst habit:
procrastination

X-x-rays you have had:
teeth and foot

Y-Your favorite food:
mama made tairsaadam(yoghurt rice)

Z-Zodiac:
libra

Jodha Akbar is breathtaking

Put down that review that says JA is worth only two stars, in fact throw it down hard. Turn off the radio where people casually pass unintelligent judgement on this masterpiece. We saw it yesterday and loved it. EVERY minute of it.

It is extremely cinematic, sensitive and beautiful. Despite its grand scale its beauty is in the simple things. Ashutosh Gowariker is a thoughtful, conscientitious filmmaker who does not cater to the lowest common denominator for the sake of profit. The film is well grounded and rich in detail. The cinematography is grand yet understated. The sets are like the interiors of the beautiful Rajput palaces in their hey day, breathtakingly beautiful. Every set is like a snapshot from a palatial designer's manual, so gorgeous and tasteful, a feast for the eyes. The language is poetic. The music is fabulous, Rahman zindabad, that Sufi song just lifts me up, I've listened to it a million times and it puts me in a trance.

The casting is just perfect no one else could have done the roles of Jodha and Akbar as convincingly, as Aishwarya and Hritik, they make a fabulous couple. Hritik Roshan portrayed the humanity of the powerful emperor so convincingly, his whole persona was regal, idealistic and sensitive. He looked like a man who was trying to do the right thing and win a place in the hearts of people. He is also very easy on the eyes in his fantastic mughal wardrobe. Aishwarya Rai is perfect, she is just so beautiful and dignified. Her strength and beauty were a true depiction of a proud Rajput woman. Nobody could have done those fabulous Sword fighting scenes, she was just amazing. Together they are MAGIC. It was a real delight watching these two gorgeous people performing. They seemed so 'into' their characters. After leaving the film I really missed the world that it had created...

The portrayal of the confluence of Hinduism and Islam was done in many beautiful ways. Akbar supported his wife's need to continue practising her Hindu faith in a Muslim palace despite intense opposition from orthodox religious leaders...He had the wisdom to understand the difference between faith and religion...what an important message for our world today.

At the very core of the film is the love story of these two amazing forces from two very different worlds. After a long time I was really moved by a love story. I wanted them to get together so badly, I was like a hopelessly romantic teenager. In these times of in your face sexuality the restraint of this gorgeous couple was HOT. Really.

Go watch it on the big screen, you can buy the DVD later to savour it for years to come, but for now don't miss it on the big screen. My only regret was that I saw the film in a multiplex with a very sedate crowd..I wished for the catcalls and whistling I remember in hindi films growing up...I whistled twice much to the embarassment of my father! Papa loved the film, so did Mama but did groan in the war scenes, 'bahut lamba hai'. Rosh my 13 year old niece loved it and my sister love dit so much she is going for it again today..the very next day. Eat your heart out Hindustan Times.

Run fast, jump high..

Here is what DH wrote in memory of dear Sheroo.

Rest in Peace

Goodbye sweet Sheroo, I miss you terribly. It is too painful to imagine home without you. You won't be on the couch, you won't wake me up every morning with your demands for food, you won't sleep by me on the couch and purr so loudly I think my stomach is growling. I will miss your incessant talking, prodding, begging, feed me, love me, let me out now, now, now. I wish I had recorded your sweet sound somewhere so I could always have a piece of you to hold onto...You were my first toddler, so loving and demanding but so damn charming, you always got your way. I will miss your eyes and the way you half closed them and made a whispering mewl when you wanted something special..I know I already dinner but please give me a snack..? I feel very sad and angry about the way you were snatched away from us but I take solace in the fact that your suffering is over. I am happy you lived life on your own terms and I am grateful I was able to be so close to a wild soul. You are irreplaceble. May you rest in peace.

pit in my stomach

just spoke to D this morning..sheroo is gone. he was out all night just like on several other ocassions but this time it was fatal. He appears to have been attacked by a wild animal and savagely killed. D picked up the pieces. Our first child is dead.

In Bombay!

We've been here only about 10 days, yet already it feels like months have passed. Everyday is full of activity, people, food, noise, smells, auto rickshaws, cows, dogs, crows, pigeons, life, life, life. Anika is very well settled in. She was over jetlag by the fourth day, those initial few days were tough, she missed her father and home. She kept saying 'papa' softly and patting herself with a forlon look. I was so guilty for putting her through it I was ready to take the next flight home. But slowly things changed as she got over jetlag by the fourth day. Suddenly life was a party with all new things to discover. My parents' place is on the 11th floor of a building, her self-appointed play area is the balcony overlooking the sea and a busy college street. She watches the fishing boats in the distance and the cows and dogs on the beach. On the street below, she watches with excitement the hulchul in the morning, the bikes, rickshaws and students. Outside our bedroom window is an eagle's nest that she watches transfixed. Every window is a new adventure, a iearning experience, a game..she is so stimulated and happy. She has new words and long stories about what she is seeing. What an exciting change for little miss suburban American.

The best part about being here is all the love and attention she is getting, she's really basking in it. There's no love like grandparents' love. She gets pampered so much, mama has already stitched her two dresses. She gets fresh meals twice a day and is bought a small toy nearly everytime she goes out!






Wherever we go people comment on how cute she is and try to make her smile. The other day we were stuck in traffic on the way back from Da's place. A man in the car next to ours was making funny faces and making her laugh, for a good five minutes. His whole family joined in, the mother, the grand parents and their toddler, were all sticking their faces on the windows talking to Anika, she was thrilled. From being strapped in a car seat alone in the back seat to this, is quite amazing.

We have a nice routine now, she wakes up, has breakfast on the balcony.



Then she participates in the hustle bustle of the house. The doorbell rings and she drops everything and runs to the door shouting ko, ko, ko for 'kaun aaya?'(who's come?)She greets a long stream of people at the door like a priest, the dhobi(guy who irons the clothes), the doodhwala(the milkman), Sharada, the lady who cleans the dishes and Gudiya who sweeps and mops. Gudiya is a favorite because she cleans while wearing payals(anklets with tiny tinkling bells)..imagine the thrill! After all this excitement I take her down to run around in the garden and play in the park. Then we usually have some errand or the other for which we jump in an auto rickshaw.



The auto is her most radically fun experience..a fast moving car/three wheeled scooter with no doors that has no car seat! Move over Six Flags this is the ultimate roller coaster. The freedom is so heady she squeals. When we reach our destination she is very disappointed. The only way to placate her is to have her pay the ricksahwallah.



On returning home she has nani made yummy lunch while standing on the chair at the table! After lunch she dances vigorously to hip radio mirchi music after which she falls fast asleep for two solid hours. In the evening its time to snack and play again..! Non stop party I tell you. She falls asleep very easily at around 9 every night.



There are other things on my mind about the city and life here. I have some gripes and some thoughts but that intellectualisation takes a back seat to Anika's happiness. I'll write more about ALL that later, for now, all of you who know Anika have fun imagining her antics in India.

The journey home

We made it halfway across the world in one piece, just about. By the end of the long flight I was ready to drill a hole in the plane and just jump out. 15 hours is too long to have a toddler on your lap in a closed space, on a small seat with strangers' elbows digging in from both sides. But its over and Anika did remarkably well under the circumstances. God bless Emirates for having Jungle Book as one of the movies, and also my travel agent for scoring the front row where I had enough room to put her down on a mat on the floor to stand or sit when I needed a break. She had only two meltdowns that were not that bad, mine were worse.

We arrived at Mumbai airport at about 2:45am after 21 hours of travel time. As we made the long walk to immigration/baggage Anika was dancing in the carrier in the front. I got our passports stamped and started towards baggage, I got help with my bags and sailed out. There they were in the darkness, Ma, Pa, Pri, Frooki and the kids! At 3 am..squealing with excitement at the first sighting of the princess. Anika was a little overwhelmed when they all surrounded us, but was happy to out in the open finally.

On the way home there was much excitement when Anika casually said her first word on Indian shores, 'bha-bhow' when she saw some stray dogs on the street. After the reaction she got she said it several more times=)




When we got home I was made to wait while Ma ran up. When we reached the door, Ma was standing there with a thali in her hand with a diya, tika and prasad to do aarti of the little Laxmi entering her home for the first time. It was beautiful, Anika was very intrigued. In the house she avoided everyone except for Raunaq, her 11 year old cousin and me. They were all dying to just grab her and squeeze her instead they watched lovingly from a distance hanging on her every word. We had tea and then all went to bed at 6am. I was happy and exhausted after the long journey. The journey has to be that long for your mind to accept the change, the whole new world. Its a crazy, surreal trip. EVERYTHING is different. Even though I grew up here, the transition is so huge everytime I can only imagine how stressful it must have been for sensitive little girl.

Last minute post

Can I sleep on the flight like this?




I could travel in the bag too..




So this is the place you'll grew up?




I'll miss you Papa..

Homeward bound

Finally its time to go home. Its been three years since I roamed the streets of Bombay last. This time it will be as a mother, with a baby on my hip, not the carefree crazy Bombay girl I usually am. Though I have some trepidation about going alone without Dh I also have a slow thump of excitement growing in my heart...Bombay meri jaan here I come, with the love of my life!

Taare Zameen Par

Its been nearly a week since we saw this gem and there are still images from it in my head - that is a testament to the quality of the latest offering from Aamir Khan Productions, Taare Zameen Par literally 'Stars on Earth' or figuratively heavenly beings among us. I saw it twice in a row, the first time I was alone while Dh entertained Anika at the Park and the second time when it was my turn to be with her, I decided to stay while Dh watched! I am SO bad, I know...It worked out perfectly I was able to keep Anika entertained in the dark with food and whispering till Ishaan was separated from his family. It was during that tearful 'Ma' song that she wanted out NOW! Thankfully I was able to re-watch the delightful antics of Ishaan in the first half and be spared a second bout of crying. After that it was roaming the halls of the cinema and sneaking into other darkened halls to catch snatches of dialogue from other movies while Anika practised her stair climbing skills in the dark!

Now the Review:

One of the highlights of the film was the natural and unselfconscious performance of Darsheel Safary the child who played the role of Ishaan Awasthi, an 8 year old boy who is misunderstood and ostracised because he has undiagnosed dyslexia. His general childish antics in the first half had me laughing out loud. The scene where he entertained himself by burping, imitating animals, digging his nose and doing the moonwalk when he was thrown out of class had me in splits. The way he burst out laughing when his father nearly strikes his mother when he his lunging at him was adorable. In the second half he conveyed his abandonment and isolation so convincingly I cried pretty much the entire time. Ishaan could have been played by a typical 'child star' a cute looking Bournvita kid that is a champion at TTBC(trying to be cute) instead he was an everyday kid who was endearing because of his spirit and humour. Kudos to Aamir Khan for directing the boy perfectly.

I liked the sensitive portrayal of a common problem in a non-preachy way. Aamir Khan was able to say something socially relevant in a commercial setup. I also liked the comments on insensitive parenting in a competitive world. The unrealisitc goals set for children, pressured to excel in areas that they may not have any aptitude just because they have to 'succeed in the world'. Without much thought given to the innate abilities of children parents tend to set unattainable standards that crush the child's individuality. It made me think about my own parenting choices, am I trying to make Anika what I think is good or am I creating an environment that nurtures her innate abilities. Its important to think about it.

I also loved the pace of the film, it was unrushed. Aamir took the time to develop Ishaan's character, to make us love him before his travails began, I think that's why the second half or the 'conflict' was so unbearable because Ishaan was so lovable by then. I really enjoyed the little things like his day out on the town watching the big city awestruck or the dog sleeping so peacefully in his godi, the gola wala and the construction worker father and son. The painter climbing up the scaffolding with bare feet..just stuff kids would notice, I remember feeling so scared for those guys when I was a kid..I loved all the documentary shots of the city..And the beautiful motif of the fish. The film starts with little Ishaan collecting fish from a gutter that is almost choking with garbage, yet he sees the little fish and brings them home to a clean bowl on his refrigerator. In the end when his teacher has been able to rescue his fading spirit with individual attention and care, he sees goldfish in the pond at the Hostel. I read online that goldfish are a symbol of life in Iranian culture, maybe they symbolise his rebirth in the beautiful painting of the finale? The use f goldfish and the story of a young boy reminded me of the Iranian film Children of Heaven. I wonder if Aamir has seen it? I'm sure he would love it, the sensibilities are similar.

I guess the only disappointment for me was the treatement of Ishaan's mother. She who loved him and noticed his hurts when the bully's mother came complaining, who cried when she was separated from him...just didn't resist the unreasonable father enough. i was irritated that she was weak. I guess its possible, but I wish there was a scene of her taking on the father and arguing on Ishaan's behalf....Oh well can't be perfect.

I also loved the end of the film, the resolution as well as the running, happy child in the conclusion. I loved the music, Shankar Ehsan and loy are perfect and the end credits, what a great little touch.

Some movies touch the surface and disappear in a few minutes and others like this one have a deeper impact. They make waves in your consciousness that dredge up childhood memories, they stay and provide fodder for the soul long after the screen goes black. I think Dh said it best, this is movie I wish Ma had been alive to watch with me, she was like this, always bringing out the best in us with love and patience.

An adventure with lazygirl

My first introduction to lazygirl was through her amazing photos on flickr. There is something so beautiful about every one. Her pictures are not just snapshots, they are everyday moments made beautiful by her eye. Real and ethereal at the same time. After I've gotten to know Bonnie better I understand where the beauty comes from. Bonnie has a relaxed quiet energy about her that is magnetic. Despite her quiet manner, she makes an impact. Today we spent a wonderful afternoon together, being around her made me realize what I like about her. She is easygoing and fun to be around. She is very open and generous with her heart, her camera and her advice. She shared some great insights about overcoming creative inertia and even offered to help me with design work. For her to make such an offer, with all her experience to someone who she barely met a month or so ago shows a generosity of spirit and confidence in her worth, that I admire.

I cooked her a not so good Indian meal, which the poor thing ate without any complaints. Any self respecting desi would have left that ma ki dal untouched after a bite(what dh did for dinner)..it just wasn't cooked enough in spite of having been soaked overnight and cooked in the pressure cooker for like an hour. It was no wonder that her usually cooing baby got very upset soon after he nursed. What was I thinking? Whole urad dal for a breastfeeding mother? Sigh. Poor baby, gripe water helped but he suffered quite a bit.

After lunch we sat out in the backyard enjoying the glorious 70 degree TX winter with a cup of chai. Time went by so quickly and lightly. As I was replaying the day in my head, I came up to the computer and saw this post on her blog, and all these great pictures on flickr..hey lady for a lazygirl you move very quickly. Thank you so much for al lthe beautiful pictures you took. You really capture my daughter's beauty.

Moms and detachable breasts

Ok that got your attention without a picture, my camera is STILL broken.

Last night was an MNO(mom's night out) for the 'Other Mothers' we had a holiday party sans babies avec wine, chocolate and cheese aplenty...It was so fun to get dressed up and laugh loudly at silly things because of alcoholic beverages. I'm so glad I went, I signed up to go on the previous night when I had an insomniac moment at 3 am! The conversation eventually went to our babies and mothering. At one point we talked about how we loved nursing but would love it so much more if we could detach our breasts and leave them for baby when we needed a break! Everyone nodded solemnly and agreed, yes this would be a marvellous invention. We could co-sleep without having to go to bed right when baby does. When I was driving home later and my mind went back to the conversation the hilarity of it struck me hard..I laughed out loud!

I am SOOOO irritated that the camera is out of commission, I hate posting without pics. I have two other posts I was dying to write about...our weekend in Houston for a wonderful family get together and a fabulous package I received form India filled with sweaters my darling mother knitted for Anika...By the tiime the camera issue is resolved it'll be so long after the fact...

artist at work

I must confess, the only reason I pulled out the paints and brush today was to see her dressed up in her smock, if you please. I thought she looked quite edible.







Voila!

our latest crafty adventures

We had fun making a catepillar from an old egg carton. I had planned to paint the whole thing a neat green, but Anika had other ideas. she grabbed the brush and made a psychedelic one, which is much cooler than my sedate one would have been. This was our first project at home with paints and a brush. She prefers to use a brush, she hates getting her hands dirty, she has some ocd issues from dh! This is not an original idea, I got it from a kids craft book I got at a yard sale. Will post a link later, I can't find it right now.

Niya comes to town!

Niya is my dh's brother's daughter, Anika's cousin sister. She is 21 months old, 5 months older than Thumki. This was the second time they met, the first time lil thumki was only 2 months old! We were all really excited that it was finally time to meet. We had visions of them running into each other's arms and hugging like a long lost couple in a hindi movie. Did not happen. The first evening was tense. Niya is 21 months old and Anika is 16 months. Two toddlers under one roof, need I say more?

Anika had been working on getting two molars out and was miserable to begin with. She was also confused because I had taken her mattress out from our bedroom and put it in her future nursery which was going to be Niya and her dad's room for the weekend. When they arrived we were collecting dried leaves off the street, a lovely mama daughter adventure Enter a new car, a man who looked like Papa but not quite and another baby who was very cute. As he opened the car door, out came beautiful NIya who I couldn't stop gushing over...'She's so beautiful, she's so adorable, sweet Niya, welcome etc'. Anika was a looking from Niya, to M to me with a small frown on her face.

When Niya came in she was tired and disoriented, so I brought Anika's favorite thrift store dancing cookie monster to amuse her. From then on the rest of the evening was spent trying to keep the peace as Niya, the older more toddlery one marched around playing with all Anika's toys and screaming loud, 'MINE's when Anika came anywhere close. Seeing Anika's creastfallen face was heart breaking. I tried to provide two of everything so there would be no war but it was hard. Each had a bowl of snacks, of a different colour. When Anika wandered near her bowl she heard a resounding 'mine' so she shrunk away. At one point she picked up Niya's bowl and handed it t her as a peace offering..sweet child but Niya just took it without acknowledgement. I have never experienced this dynamic before, I was torn between protecting Anika and letting her figure it out for herself. When Anika's papa finally came home she perked up to have someone else on her team. It was only then that I could start dinner preps because a normally independent Anika was super clingy. On the dinner table they were fascinated by each other watching each other's every move.

The next day was a whole different story, Niya woke up and started screaming 'Ka-Ka' short for Anika. Anika was all excited to see her too. The fascination continued. Anika was still giving me killer looks if I picked Niya up but the ice had been broken. They were playing together, in the same area without much strife, they had figured it out. There were a few moments of crisis but for the most part, they were coexisting peacefully.



Anika liked that Niya was fascinated by the cats, whom she feels are 'her babys'. Niya was careful around them watching cautiously from a distance and Anika was running up to them and jumping them! She was showing off! The mutual respect began to grow, there was smiling and touching=) It was just too cute to see them warming up to each other.



By Sunday morning they were colouring in the same book, reading together and playing in the garden. They were enjoying each other's company, sadly it was the day they were leaving.







Before heading to the airport we stopped at a south Indian rest for lunch and Anika was creating havoc, because of her ongoing 'food strike'. I was so desperate for her to eat that I let her sit on the windowsill next to our table. Of course Niya revolted against her high chair and would have nothing short of her father's lap after that! At the airport we had a cup of coffee before a tearful goodbye. M uncle had a last walk with his daughter and niece on either side of him...



When we had dinner on Sunday evening at home, Anika was very pleased to have her mama and papa all to herself. She was being extra charming and even ate a little to please me. Her mattress was back to our room and things were going back to normal. After her bath she did her usual wild running on the bed from one end to the other before finally being tamed for 30 seconds and wrestled in to a diaper for the night. She fell asleep quickly and deeply.

When she woke up on Monday morning she went running to Niya's room and was surprised to see the room was empty. She raised her hand in the air, as she did with her uncle and gave a quizzical look.

Even since Niya has left Anika reaches for the photo magnet of Niya on the fridge, holds it in her hands and walks around saying 'ka- ka' softly to herself.

restorative holiday

Having D home for the past week has been wonderful. We didn't have any major plans just hanging around the house, doing errands and meeting friends. We really needed the down time. His job is so stressful and busy it feels as though during the week we don't have any time to even talk. He gets home, we have dinner, clean up, bathe baby and then its bed time, most nights I'm so exhausted I fall asleep while putting her to bed. This past week we did everything together going to the park, the doctor, eating, playing, cooking, cleaning..everything, he got to witness our mama daughter days. Thumki was spoilt rotten with both of us around ALL the time, even a slight little 'bunk' had to be kissed better by both parents. She was glowing with all the love. It was as if she knew it wasn't going to last long so she capitalized on papa time as much as possible..a happy side effect was that I had many morning coffees to myself reading and pontificating..aah bliss. I feel revitalised now, ready to take on long days once more.

Today we went for a play date to a public park by the lake. Mama E brought pumpkin muffins and apples. Thumki ate a little apple and then wanted to run around and explore. She saw the lake in the distance and kept walking towards it while saying 'Ya yome, ya yome' that's 'I want, I want'. She walked quite a long distance, undeterred by my pleas to slow down and collect some leaves, this was the purpose/theme of the playdate. She marched on resolutely till she reached the little lake. She was thrilled to see the sun glinting off the water and little ducks swimming around, she wanted to get in immediately! I had a tough time distracting her away from this desire.

She looked so adorable in her latest Nani made sweater...my camera is not working so I can't post a pic, if one of the other mama's took a pic I will put it up so mama can see her handiwork on her precious little grand daughter. I feel so lost without my camera, I have to have it fixed before our India trip. I have visions of choti playing in mapa's building and walking around in the macchi market pointing at all the cats in delight, chasing the dogs around the building and generally being a big star! She will LOVE it, little diva that she is. I'm really looking forward to going to Bombay and blogging there, I want to take tons of pics. I'm looking forward to meeting Sur and lil Sanah.

tryptophan zindabad!

Turkey day at V&A's was delicious and decadent, we ate like pigs..V had the best plan, as always..that woman really thinks things through. We showed up at around 11 and the kiddos played a bit and then they were fed. The turkey and the timing did the trick, they both fell asleep by 1:30! We all actually had an adult conversation over wine and lit candles! It was a socially deprived toddler parents' dream come true..

We started with the best pumpkin soup I have ever tasted, I mean I had two bowls despite the other goodies that were to come. It was flavorful, tasty and soothing to the soul..

After that she had laid out (at the perfect temperature), carved turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes with marshmellos and slivered almonds on the top, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, a bean casserole, cranberry sauce and bread rolls..yum yum. I took two big helpings and ate like a queen(pig). When I think back I wish I had eaten slower. Being a mama makes you eat under the gun..I was so nervous that baby would wake up any minute that I shoveled..sigh..but it was first rate shoveling=)

After that I swear I was trippin on the tyrpto or was it the wine or just the good company? I was so full I plonked on the couch and watched Nemo with Nikhil. I had to drink 2 cups of very sweet coffee to stay awake...Baby was still sleeping, I could have eaten so much slower..damn.

We ended all the goodness with a fat slice of yummy pecan pie each..mmm..

It was just the best day and so fitting that we got to spend a day of thanks with friends we are truly thankful for.