She's Joined the Collective Consciousness

That's what my poetic husband said about little Thumki..to describe the sudden amazing shift in her understanding, perception and expression. She understands everything..well maybe not everything, but it just amazes me that all this time when we were blabbing away to her in an unknown language, this little fresh new life was absorbing everything..eg Anika can you bring the Red car..she goes and picks it up and brings it over. Anika where is your diaper..silent pointing..Anika where is Daadi? Walks over to the mandir and picks up Ma's picture..goose bumps..after that one where's mama's nose is a non event..One other thing D said that was beautiful , 'Before it seemed like things would just flow through her but now they seem to stick, she's holding them'. Makes you realise just how important it is to be mindful of all your words and actions around a child. I am getting really sentimental about the fact that she is going to be a year old in a couple of weeks..I can't believe how quickly its all gone. Holding her in my arms for the first time and nursing her is still so fresh in my mind. Pushing her out and then seeing her little small, wet, white body leaning towards me from the nurse's arms..She knew me, she wanted only me, she loved me already and I loved her more than anything..I was so attached to her in one flash. Those moments of childbirth are the most spectacular of my life..my words are hollow, It was the truest most natural thing in the world..I felt the power of being a woman, I felt like a Godess, the word in my being was Shakti..

Walkie Talkie!

Thumak thallo is walking all about the place. She takes the most adorable small little tentative steps and lets out little excited squeals..she gets cuter by the day and more engaging. She expresses herself really well now she makes it clear wht she wants and doesn't like. She says mama, give , go, tat thats cat and many other organic self created words. She tries to sing along with music and she dances, boy does she dance...she loves to shake her little bum especially to remixed hindi movie songs with jhankaar beats..'mere piya gaye rangoon' really gets her going..its amazing. She wants to play all the time..! She is full of energy. She is sleeping right now, what i should be doing is either cooking or lookig for a job but I'm blogging. I figured a girl needs sometime o express herself too so she doesn't burst or completely fizzle both extremes are no fun. I have to work to make time for my brain and keep up with the media even reading about it and dreaming about my film. Already I am very tempted to just get a job, any job and pick up on my career later, but that's the easy way out..I need to push myself and reinvent. Life has given me a new challenge and I need to recreate myself and come up with a solution to keep my mind alive and some moolah coming in. If I drop the film thing comepletely I'll never pick it up again. If I can't direct right now I should stay connected and edit or write or take pictures or learn some software so I can create websites and also some graphics. I need to start puttign aside 2 hours a day to do stuff just for myself.